I think my vagina is haunted
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
