i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You pole danced in your parka.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize