have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
