some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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