Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
