I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
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