i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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