Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
