I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
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