Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
