Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Just pee around me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
