I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
