just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
