i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Randomize
