It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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