When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
How external is "for external use only"?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
