whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Someone shit on the floor
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We left an ass print on the piano.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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