yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
