Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
How's work?
Spinning.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
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