so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize