I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
