god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize