Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
