By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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