Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
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