Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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