Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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