p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
