All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
4 words: hood of his car
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
