he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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