A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
