We're facebook friends in real life
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
