wakey wakey hands off snakey
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
