I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
where am i from again
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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