I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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