When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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