OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
