WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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