new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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