you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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