With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
