Whod you bang
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
