I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
