If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
