everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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