We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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