No stitches, just platelets and will power
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
