sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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