booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
