we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I just want to make out with him forever
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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