I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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