1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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