Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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