last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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