doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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