I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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