What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
