I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
