Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
