That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
