he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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