Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
